SUICIDE

September 10th is World Suicide Prevention Day.

I've always wanted to be a psychiatrist. When people ask me why, I tell them it's because of how little awareness we have about mental health in Nigeria—not just in our generation, but especially in the generations before us.

What exactly is a happy person? Is it someone who makes you laugh? Someone who never gives you a reason to worry? Someone who seems to have their life together? I'll have you know that death doesn't discriminate. What if we're wrong?

We have become very good at recognising the person who looks unhappy. But what about the person who doesn't? The one who laughs loudly. The one who is in a relationship, goes to work, attends class, shows up for birthdays and tells you, “I'm fine,” when you ask how they are.

I've always wanted to be a psychiatrist because I love talking to people. More importantly, I love listening to them. And sometimes I wonder how many people we have lost while assuming they were okay. How many people tried to reach out, how many didn't.

Your life-of-the-party friend could be a disco ball hanging by a thread. Do not become comfortable equating visible happiness with actual well being.

I've always wanted to be a psychiatrist, but it's not primarily for all the reasons I've been telling people. I want to be a psychiatrist so I can save those who are alive, but are hurting so deeply that living has begun to feel unbearable. Before they became statistics the ones we've lost were people, too. And how long can the things we tell people should keep them alive—family, friends, dreams, school, work, the future—hold someone who is suffering silently? Again, your life-of-the-party friend could be a disco ball hanging by a very thin thread.

So ask again. And this time, don't just ask, “How are you?” Ask—and stay long enough to really hear the answer they don't give. I'm not waiting around until I become a psychiatrist before I start to give people a reason to stay.

If you can see this, and you need help, ask the right people. You owe it to no one but yourself to be strong, especially not alone. Mental illness is treatable and asking for help is a step in the right direction, not a character flaw or a sign of weakness.

We need you to stay, but above all, I hope you can find reasons to stay that belong to you. There's so much more you can be than you are now. I know, because I've been there before and I chose myself every time.

September 10th — World Suicide Prevention Day. Your one text can interrupt a very dark moment. Send it.